I’ve received a lot of support, both public and private over the last few weeks after posting my blog. One sentiment that’s been relayed more often than any other goes something like this – “You know, you really aren’t (that) big.”
When I’ve been able to engage people about this statement, the overwhelming belief is fat is a horrible word. They feel that others are bigger than me and I shouldn’t call myself fat like it is some sort of slur. A couple of people told me they felt like they were “f-bombing” me if they acknowledged that I “may be overweight.”
I get it. I told myself for years that I wasn’t that fat and carried my weight well. Maybe, maybe not, but that is not the point.
The thing about most fat people is that we know we are fat. When you see us as we are, fat, it is not like a racial slur. It isn’t like an f-bomb. Well, it kind of is since fat is an f-word.
I don’t recommend going around calling people fat. Most people, even if they realize it, don’t like the word. I believe that is mostly due to the word being hijacked by non-fat people. When a woman asks, “Do I look fat in these pants,” then the word becomes derogatory. The idea that a non-fat person can be made to look fat by pants or a dress or a shirt is where we lose the meaning of the word as just another descriptor.
My goal is to own the word, to take it back. My life is better now that I’ve taken control of the word and not let it control me. I know it makes people uncomfortable when I call myself fat. I’ve cut way back on doing that because I’ve actually become more comfortable that it is a mere fact versus something I’m afraid people won’t notice. When you are fat, you can , at times, feel like the most obvious thing in the room while simultaneously believing no once sees you.
I’m going to try very hard to stop pointing out I’m fat. I’d like those around me to stop pretending I’m not, though. Maybe then the world will be a little brighter and a tad simpler to navigate.
#intentional #choosemypath #FatManRising