I started this blog to hold myself accountable. My goal was to share successes and failures in a public forum because I felt it would help me overcome some of my major weaknesses. That worked for awhile. Lately, I’ve reverted to an old habit – the art of avoidance.
When I had some stresses and injury issues, I stopped blogging. Easier to avoid all the issues than tackle them.
I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions during this time. Now I’m angry. Angry with myself and only myself. This is my issue and only I can make the decision every single day to improve. The support I’ve received has been overwhelming. When the spotlight is off, this is about me executing my plan.
I have my running back on track. I’ll head out on this gorgeous Sunday morning shortly for a long run. I’m proud of this and am determined to make running a part of my life.
The real problem is my ability to be honest with myself about my terrible eating habits. I stopped logging food and told myself I was ready for it. That’s a lie.
If I want to become healthy, I need to watch what I eat. That means I have to log my food every day. I have to make better choices when I eat out. Sugar is my biggest weakness and cutting it out is critical to my long-term health.
I feel better when I eat better. Here’s the catch… I’ve been overly stressed (my own doing) and food is comfort. I feel better overall when I eat well. I feel better in the moment when I gorge on carbs and sugar.
My decision is whether to embrace a series of moments to provide temporary relief or welcome the pain to live a longer, healthier life. Temporary or forever. The choice is clear choice is the hard one. The clear choice makes me nervous because I think I’ll fail over and over. The key is to fail less and celebrate the wins not by eating but by sharing.
I know I can do what needs to be done. Habits are so very difficult to break. Time to take a step and celebrate.