So Much Doubt

Doubt is crippling. Any little bit of this journey to health that doesn’t go perfectly puts another bit of uncertainty in my mind. As much as I try to concentrate on the positive, the black hole of doubt envelopes my consciousness all too often.

This journey reminds me of running on a treadmill. Every step is a struggle and you stop exactly where you started. Yet, there is progress, even if you don’t see it. That time on the treadmill does burn calories and put you closer to your goal. 

Even if I take a step or two back in my progress, I’ve taken many more steps forward. It may seem like I’m in the same place, but I’m not.

How do I possibly keep that in focus? My family is supportive in every way. And some of them have the same struggles, so we can talk about everything openly knowing the others can empathize. 

Through it all, doubt remains. Maybe it will never go away. Maybe I need to find a way to accept the doubt and integrate into the plan. 

There is no way to figure this out alone. Hopefully, others with the same sort of doubts are willing to talk and we can find some answers.