When I weighed myself on December 5th, 2016, I was 214.6 pounds, only three pounds heavier than when I ran my half-marathon six weeks earlier. I was happy with that. Maybe a little too happy.
I gave myself permission to relax my standards for my anniversary weekend. We had a couple of big dinners planned and I didn’t want to punish myself. To me, one weekend of the old me was no big deal.
I still believe that but that isn’t what happened. My goal to be intentional went away. Focus went out the window and eating became my hobby once again.
When I weighed in again 26 days later, the consequences showed on the scale – a full 13 pounds. That means I found a way to gain a half-pound per day for nearly a month.
At 227.6 pounds, I had choices to make. I worked hard to get the weight off and it comes back so easily in just a few weeks of unfocused debauchery. I could blame the holidays or work but the fact is I own this mess.
With everything else going on in life, I had some decisions to make. I chose to fix it, long-term.
Since then, I have gone back to living with intention. When I decide to eat something, it is with full consciousness versus blind consumption. The results speak for themselves.
I’m down nine pounds and food isn’t running my life. I eat my three meals and grab a snack if needed. And I’m back to being a little hungry most of the time. This is a key to success for me to lose and, eventually, maintain the right weight.
The loss of control scared me. It doesn’t take much to gain weight and feel awful. I have too many reasons to fix this, too many goals, to lose focus.
It isn’t different this time like I’ve told myself dozens of times over the years. It is exactly the same and recognizing that will help me succeed. Lying to myself that it is somehow different, easier, can only lead to failure.
I’m going to do everything I can to stay focused and intentional. The fight is hard but well worth it. I see a long life filled with success and a few weeks of weakness will not define my future.