FatManChronicles

So starting this journey has been challenging but I have been making it fun.

I have a confession to make. I went to a buffet the other day. I know, I know. That is like a recovering druggy trapping himself in a pharmacy over night and trying to behave.

It is like an Alcoholic going to a party where the main theme is hunch punch and successfully remaining sober.

It is like Michael Jackson throwing a slumber party for they boys choir. too soon? too soon.

So needless to stay it was risky.

I have a problem and a buffet was definitely risking it this early on in my recovery journey.

So first off…… you must be wondering how I did? Did the fatty survive or did he fail?

Well I will tell you….. it was my first time I have EVER behaved at a buffet!

It was made easier by being a soup and salad buffet. Which helped….but you can still do significant damage as a fatty at one of these types of buffets. I know I use to do it…. often with a good friend of mine named Ed. I have never done well at even this type of buffet. It was always a skinny persons spectacle to sit next to this fatty and watch him destroy the purpose of a healthy alternative to buffets.

I remember one time I was on the way to the sticks and weeds buffet with Ed and his brother and we managed to get pulled over by the cops…. for Ed’s brother being a dumb redneck….. we will just leave the details at that. We didn’t get arrested but we did get cuffed and padded down and was on high alert for these cops. I was cuffed and they were telling me they wanted me to get on my knees…. I look at them and said….”Sorry. Fatty can’t do knees in cuffs without falling on his face.” Realizing I maybe had a point they frisked me down standing up instead.

Then the question came.

“So where are you guys heading?”

Oy vay…here we go. “Sweet Tomatoes (Sticks and weeds buffet place).”

Then a smirk. Then a chuckle. Then a reiteration of the question.

“All right. Seriously. Where are you guys heading to?”

It’s hard to believe a fatty is going to eat salad I guess.

“HaHa! Funny. Right?….. but we ARE actually on our way to enjoy a nice meal at Sweet Tomatoes. Seriously.”

They got their hearty laugh…….. courtesy to a fat guy would be to leave it at a chuckle….but nope…… full laughing engaged. Then they finished the precautionary followup due to Ed’s dumb redneck brother’s stupid adolescent behavior and then removed the cuffs and wish us well… on our way to the “Salad Bar” and then left.

I think I may have an issue when it is found unbelievable to be this big and going to a salad bar.

So why with that kind of track record do I find myself at a buffet? Why put myself in front of a line enticing me to eat as much as I want because the price doesn’t change. Eat as much as you want because that is how we designed this restaurant. Eat. Eat. Eat.

Well. The Girl. That is why.

I was blessed with the opportunity to meet the girl’s father and step-mom for the first time…… and we met at a sticks and weeds buffet. That is why I subjected myself to the challenges of a buffet so early on.

And let me tell you….. it was worth it!

Not only did I have a chance to meet the parents which I thought went well… but I also had the chance to get an early milestone victory for a fatty trying to reform.

I did it. I paid attention to my portions and selections. I ate healthy and didn’t gorge my face. I didn’t fill up every empty place inside of me with food. I had a soup and very healthy salad…… no croutons, no bacon, no cheese….VICTORIOUS ( Like the Biggy Chorus Line).

I walked away feeling like a new man. A man experiencing self control. I am enjoying being in control over my health. I thought I was choosing my foods before but truly I was just showing my lack of self control. It is nice to be in the reigns again over my life.

When I got home I was this excited.

I was that excited