FatManChronicles

This list is something that commonly goes on in my head. It is a list of reasons why I need to lose weight. They are not in order of value, but in the order I think of them on a daily basis. Come back often as this page will be updated daily.

Drum Roll Please…………..

The Always Growing Reasons List

1.    To be healthy
2.    Hot chic in the produce section by the avocados
3.    So I can feel and look good on my wedding day.
4.    So I can do physical activities with my girlfriend.
5.    So I can run instead of waddle jog
6.    So my wang will get bigger.
7.    Have smaller boobs than girls that I like.
8.    So I can crack fat jokes on other people.
9.    So my future will have a better sex life.
10.    So I can break less plastic chairs.
11.    So I can break less rinky dink metal chairs.
12.    So I am not one of those fat guys with blonde highlights tryin…. yeah you know.
13.    So I can take my shirt off at the pool……at the beach….. randomly just because I can.
14.    So I can buy clothes from the store instead of the internet.
15.    So I can give a girl my jacket and it not swallow her up leaving me there wondering where she went, calling out her name.
16.    So it is no longer “You know! Chad……..Big Chad?” “Oh yeah….big Chad!”
17.    So kids don’t look wide-eyed at me in public and look to there parents and say “He’s fat!” and the parents get mad at the children for stating the obvious. (my response to the kids is always “Your small.”)
18.    So I can fit more comfortably into cars.
19.    So I can comfortably sit in chairs in public that have arms on them.
20.    So I can have more energy.
21.    So I can walk lighter.
22.    So I can cross my legs.
23.    Be able to sit indian style.
24.    So I can dance without looking like an idiot… I saw a fat person dancing one day and thought “Never again will I try and dance and end up looking like that.”
25.    So I am no longer the fat guy….duh.
26.    So I can shop at the thrift and find a size that fits……I am not cheap I am cost-effective.
27.    To be more photo-genic. right now I just look good at times, from angles.
28.    So when I watch a movie with friends and there is a fat kid I don’t automatically get associated with the character……. Nazi Scum….psshh.
29.    So I can grow as  a person.
30.    So I can encourage others through my journey.
31.    Because I only have one body and one lifetime.
32.    Because I want to live to see my grandkids and be a crazy grandfather.
33.    So I can have the stamina to dance with my future wife one day.
34.    So I can go hiking.
35.    No longer requesting a table at a restaurant…. we will take a booth!
36.    So I can have a success under my belt instead of a belly.
37.    Because it is time.
38.    So my theme song can go from playing tuba’s in the background to “Yeah!” by Usher. Go ahead and play it….get it into your system…. you know you like it….. my future theme song!
39.    Three words…. one.airplane.seat.
40.    Jessica Biel
41.    Scarlett Johansson
42.    Kate Beckinsdale
43.    Elisha Cuthbert
44.    Brad Pitt
45.    So I can rock instead of roll.
46.    I miss roller coasters!
47.    Three words….. one. movie. seat.
48.    Tired of losing the soap in the shower.
49.    So I can do a push up.
50.    So I can have a lap again.
51.    No longer have a fear of breaking a water slide………or getting stuck in them.
52.    So alcohol will impact my body more quickly…. so one shot equals one shot instead of one bottle equaling one shot.
53.    So the munchies won’t cost so much any more.
54.    I want to be able to drive a miata.
55.    I don’t want to die soon.
56.    I’d like for me and my scale to finally have an open relationship.
57.    Jared from Subway…your going down beanpole!
58.    Fat people float. I want to reach the bottom of the pool.
59.    Jessica Alba
60.    So I can buy 3 suits for $199!
61.    So I can work at Abercrombie if I wanted to.
62.    So I could work at GNC if I wanted to.